Consider the auk;Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.Consider man, who may well become extinctBecause he forgot how to walk and learned how to fly…
Posts published in “Ogden Nash Poems”
There is something about a Martini,A tingle remarkably pleasant;A yellow, a mellow Martini;I wish I had one at present.There is something about a Martini,Ere the dining and dancing begin,And to…
Unwillingly Miranda wakes, Feels the sun with terror, One unwilling step she takes, Shuddering to the mirror. Miranda in Miranda’s sight Is old and gray and *****; Twenty-nine she was…
The hands of the clock were reaching highIn an old midtown hotel;I name no name, but its sordid fameIs table talk in ****.I name no name, but ****’s own flameIllumes…
To keep your marriage brimmingWith love in the loving cup,Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Isabel met an enormous bear,Isabel, Isabel, didn’t care;The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous,The bear’s big mouth was cruel and cavernous.The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,How do,…
Praise the spells and bless the charms,I found April in my arms.April golden, April cloudy,Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;April soft in flowered languor,April cold with sudden anger,Ever changing, ever true —I…
This is a song to celebrate banks,Because they are full of money and you go into them and allyou hear is clinks and clanks,Or maybe a sound like the wind…
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paintHas an advantage with me over one whose ain’t.
Celery, rawDevelops the jaw,But celery, stewed,Is more quietly chewed.
May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?I wish to retire till the party’s over.Since three o’clock I’ve done my bestTo entertain each tiny guest. My conscience now I’ve left…
Once upon a time there was an Italian,And some people thought he was a rapscallion,But he wasn’t offended,Because other people thought he was splendid,And he said the world was round,And…
People live forever in Jacksonville and St. Petersburg and Tampa,But you don’t have to live forever to become a grampa.The entrance requirements for grampahood are comparatively mild,You only have to…
Go hang yourself, you old M.D.! You shall not sneer at me. Pick up your hat and stethoscope, Go wash your mouth with laundry soap; I contemplate a joy exquisite…
Senescence beginsAnd middle age endsThe day your descendentsOutnumber your friends.
I find it very difficult to enthuse Over the current news. Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it…
One would be in less dangerFrom the wiles of a strangerIf one’s own kin and kithWere more fun to be with.
FIRST Be it a girl, or one of the boys,It is scarlet all over its avoirdupois,It is red, it is boiled; could the obstetricianHave possibly been a lobstertrician?His degrees and…
Bring down the moon for genteel Janet;She’s too refined for this gross planet.She wears garments and you wear clothes,You buy stockings, she purchases hose.She say That is correct, and you…
Foreigners are people somewhere else,Natives are people at home;If the place you’re atIs your habitat,You’re a foreigner, say in Rome.But the scales of Justice balance true,And *** leads into tat,So…
A child need not be very cleverTo learn that “Later, dear” means “Never.”
I didn’t go to church today,I trust the Lord to understand.The surf was swirling blue and white,The children swirling on the sand.He knows, He knows how brief my stay,How brief…
How wise I am to have instructed the butlerto instruct the first footman to instruct the secondfootman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;I am about to volunteer a…
“Beep-beep.BANKERS TRUST AUTOMOBILE LOANYou’ll find a banker at Bankers Trust”Advertisement in N.Y. Times When comes my second childhood,As to all men it must,I want to be a bankerLike the banker…
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insoucianceWere it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.